Why will Ken Silva not come on my radio show?

You may be aware that the leading judgmental-critic of me, my church and a number of friends of mine is a man named Ken Silva. Ken runs a blog called Apprising Ministries. Ken, on a regular basis takes to task, in very long posts, most every public Christian figure. 
His latest posts, at the time of this writing, includes critique of not only me, but John Piper, Rick Warren, Brian McLaren, Ed Stetzer, Dan Kimball, Tim Keller. 
I am not putting a link to Ken’s blog only because I don’t want people going there accidentally. If you wanna go on purpose, it is http://apprising.org/

I asked Ken more than a year ago to come on my radio show and tell me and others his views. I have for more than 3 years personally reaching out to Ken on the phone and in email. Ken does not allow people to comment on his posts, so I could not publicly respond to the many slanderous and wrong things he has written about me over the years. But, many, many times I have emailed him or called him in regard to what he has written.

I have confronted him about what I perceived of his “stalking” of women leaders by following their tweets and facebook posts and sharing details with others on his blog.
I have confronted him on the gossip, slander and misinformation he puts out on his blog all in personal communications.

When he told me more than a year ago that he would come on my show I took him at his word. He said to me in a phone call, that he has no personal bone to pick and would be willing to share his ideas and perspective. I invited him because I wanted to engage in healthy, open dialog with my biggest critic. I told him that I am not above reproach and wanted to be open to hearing his critique. I made it clear that I did not want to debate nor argue, I told him that repeatedly and he assured me he believed me. I told him he could even talk uninterrupted. I told him that the reason I wanted to do this is so that we could model positive ways to critique and be critiqued and he could go first.

So, after more than a year of Ken saying “yes, but later”. And, more than 40 posts on his blog concerning me in that period of time, Ken now says that he will not come on my show.

He tells me that there is nothing for us to talk about. 

Here is one snippet from our correspondence. 
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(As you will see Ken has asked that the content our our many exchanges be confidential.
This is a point we have had significant back and forth on. I do not understand why he wants secrecy in what he has said to me. And, since I can’t share what he has written it makes a strange situation. He speaks of me publicly in very harsh terms. When I reach out to him personally he responds, but then will not allow me to share those interactions. Why Ken is wanting to keep these interactions secret I do not know. But it is deeply concerning. I have asked him why he wants a disconnect between public and private life?)

Here is our interaction about him not wanting to come on my show and talk with me. I asked ken’s permission to use this quote and he gave it to me. (Ken’s statements are not in quotes, the quotes are what I sent to him):

Below you said, "I again would ask you to come on my show and share your opinions. I know you have them about me, you express them regularly." Indeed I do have opinions concerning what I consider to be your bad theology, yes; and when led I have, and will continue, expressing them. 

 

Then you said, "I am not interested in debating you, but dialoging with you in a positive way so people can hear how this can go." I'm glad you're not interested in debating me because I also have no interest in debating you either; and, in addition, right now with things the way they are I'm not even interested in dialoguing with you either.

 

We know where we stand; you aren't going to change my mind as to what the historic, orthodox, Christian faith is, and I get the idea that you also have no desire to change what you believe. As such, there's really nowhere that "this can go." Doug, my job is to preach, and teach, the Gospel of Jesus Christ; and I dialogue plenty with those Jesus has placed around me as my advisors.

 

Therefore in this case, since you know very well what someone like me believes, I'm comfortable that there's really no need for me to come on your show; at least at this time. And you say, "If you are not willing to come on my show I would like your permission to share my invitation with you and your responses with my audience."

 

Of course you don't need my permission to mention that you've made this offer; that said however, I do believe what we've discussed within these emails should remain confidential.

Here is a man who claims himself to be a pastor-teacher. 
A man who is daily making claims about the validity of other people’s faith publicly. 
A man who is telling people that I, and others, are false-teachers. 
But, here is a man who will not allow others to comment about his posts in order to correct his falsehoods.
A man who is not “even interested in dialoguing with” me about his critiques of me.
A man who, while using the internet exclusively does not reveal anything of himself on the internet - no photo, no address, no contact information. 
A man who has no known church community.
A man who stands only to condemn and not to build-up.

You might well ask why I am talking about this now. You might think that I should just walk away and ignore it all. You might think that I am asking for a fight with Ken.

The reason for this post now, is that Ken has crossed a line in his failure to live up to his word. For years I trusted that all of is vitriolic writing about me, and others, was part of our dialog. But now it is clear that Ken will not engage in reconciling relationship. He will not offer even the most basic of common courtesy to someone he writes about on a weekly basis. He has acted so cruelly to so many people and will not allow anyone to speak into his life about this.

So, what am I asking for? 
Simply this: 
We pray for Ken. 
That when Ken spreads rumors and gossip we protect the innocent from his assaults. That we support those he is “throwing stones at”. 
That we, take his refusal to live in healthy reconciled relationship and call and reminder that we ought to.
That we live up to our calling of having a ministry of reconciliation regardless of the activities of others.